HSLDA | Homeschooling Thru High School : Stories from the Home Front

Editor’s Note: Parents of special needs children may often wonder just how they can help to fulfill their children’s career dreams. Following is a letter from one mom who brings inspiration to these families.

My daughter Adrienne is a young lady with many talents, hopes, and dreams. Her love for life and hugs are contagious, and God has given her many gifts to share! Though Adrienne struggles with poor problem solving abilities as well as cognitive, speech, and motor skills, these difficulties have not hindered her from obtaining one of her dreams—a job.

My heart’s desire was to help my daughter achieve this dream. After much thought, I came up with the idea of designing volunteer apprenticeship opportunities for Adrienne at a church office, a dental practice, and an orthodontic practice. On a quarterly basis, I coordinated planning meetings for Adrienne with her co-workers, employers, and friends, all of whom supported Adrienne in pursuing her goals and dreams. During one of these meetings, the orthodontist offered Adrienne a salaried part-time job!

My main thrust was to find a place for Adrienne to work where her interests lie as opposed to finding just any job that she could do. The job at the orthodontist’s office helps to fulfill Adrienne's dream of being a doctor—she wears scrubs, helps to sanitize cleaning tools, cleans patient stations, and welcomes patients.

Adrienne’s beaming face as she collected her very first pay check was priceless! I want to encourage other parents of special needs teens that opportunities for your children are out there! Be creative, gather together a supportive group of people who care about your child, and then watch doors of opportunity open.

“Me? Homeschool?” That was the question I asked seven years ago when my husband approached me about the possibility of teaching our children. My uncertainty was caused by a learning disability I struggled with all through my school years.

But dyslexia has taught me more than I thought possible. I never anticipated that dyslexia would provide me with gifts that could benefit other people—even our own children. Since both of them are showing signs of minor dyslexic behavior, I am able to show and teach them visually how to overcome some of these struggles and move forward. I am also designing a curriculum specifically for dyslexic students that integrates art with other subjects.

Homeschooling is no longer a question of “can I do it?”, but “how can I use what I know to help our children and my homeschool community?” Never underestimate how your struggles can benefit others.

Pride and emotions ran high this month as our two daughters graduated from college. Our older daughter graduated magna cum laude from San Diego State University and is continuing in a PhD program. Our younger daughter is a straight-A student at San Jose State University, and also just graduated summa cum laude and was the valedictorian at West Valley College. Wow!

Both were homeschooled from kindergarten until they entered college; thus, virtually everyone we know has stated, “You must be very proud.” The answer is obvious, but the reason may not be.

Most think that we should be proud of all the courses and facts that we taught, evidenced by the girls’ success at college. But we don’t think that our daughters remember much of what we taught them in the last four years of homeschooling, and so there is little that we can take personal credit for. I taught math, science, history, geography, and current events while my wife Vera covered the remaining subjects. How, then, is it that they both did so well? It’s because they learned important lessons that are not in the textbooks.

They learned to love learning, how to solve problems, and how to think and study on their own. They learned good work ethics and how to be accountable—all essentials for success. There are also things that they did not learn about firsthand. They were not confronted with gangs, drugs, sex, smoking, vulgarity, disrespect, and broken homes. They know what these things are, but they were not hounded or distracted by such things on a daily basis.

In short, the foundations set in the homeschooling environment provide so much more than just the three R’s. Homeschooling brings families together for several hours every day, allowing learning to go far beyond simple test scores. Family learning touches the fiber of one’s being and molds the fabric of one’s constitution, for both the student and the teacher!

My first recollection of homeschooling my seven children is of my own inadequacies. Homeschooling seemed an impossible mountain that could never be climbed. How could I possibly do it in my own strength? Over the years, and especially during the high school years, God revealed to me that the tension I was experiencing resulted from wrestling in my own heart over whether I had the faith to trust completely in His sufficiency. Was He not able to accomplish all that He had called me to do? Was He not more concerned for my children's welfare than even I was? Did He not desire to see Himself glorified through their lives in a darkened world?

All of these truths, through the years, were tested and tried. It seemed, more often than not, I provided the hindrance to many of the things God was trying to accomplish. My own agenda, my schedule, my desires for order or security-all, at times, became obstacles that He had to maneuver around. I learned many lessons in giving up my particular plans for the day and letting the Spirit do His work. I began to see that He was more concerned about the spiritual and character education that was occurring in each individual heart, than in the trigonometry lesson I had scheduled for that day. Questions such as these were infinitely more important: How much did my children love the Savior? How much were they clinging to the cross for their help and deliverance? How much was humility towards their family members becoming a regular way of life?

Since we were some of the first homeschoolers in the country, we maintained a very high academic standard. The reception of homeschooled young people had not yet been tried in higher academia. We had no "test cases" to look to for an idea of how they would be received. The pressure to produce well-educated and well-rounded specimens to the world was great, and as a lone homeschooling mother, I felt it every day. By God's grace, my children all performed far above average and received full scholarships to college, but it was not without many failures on my part, and probably was in spite of me. I saw the simple truth of faithfully stewarding, one day at a time, all that He had given me charge to do. I also learned to look daily to my husband, my spiritual leader and the one ultimately responsible for our family. His wisdom and insight, and helplessness before the Lord, were a continual beacon in what sometimes seemed a darkened night.

It is a high and holy calling to educate your children at home, and it cannot be accomplished outside of the power of the Holy Spirit. These children that He has created for His glory do indeed belong to Him. As we surrender ourselves, by His grace, He will accomplish all that He has planned concerning each one of them.

Graduates speak: the benefits of homeschooling

Home educated through all 12 years of school, we have been blessed in many ways through this experience. As we entered the high school age, our family started to wonder: What about high school transcripts? Would we be academically prepared for college? What about the college admission process? There were also the questions of sports and music. Lastly, our parents feared they were inadequate to teach the higher-level subjects (even though they both have medical backgrounds).

The Bible says, "Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it" (I Thessalonians 5:24, KJV). God opened up plenty of "socialization" opportunities—such as volleyball—through our church. Homeschooling allowed us the time to learn piano plus one additional instrument each and to be involved in a homeschool orchestra throughout high school. In subject areas where our parents felt inadequate to teach, we simply learned together, or God raised up more knowledgeable friends in our church to instruct us. We received diplomas and transcripts through the satellite program through which we homeschooled, and were accepted into college without any problem.

Homeschooling gave us the benefit of being in a home setting with our teachers as our loving parents. We developed self-motivation and self-discipline as we studied on our own (finishing our first college semester with the surprise blessing of almost a 4.0 each!). Most importantly, being around our parents equipped us with their values and spiritual goals, accompanied by a deep sense of family love and commitment.

God's grace will always equip you for the next step in home education. As we are now both working on our PhDs and looking back, we can see God's hand in our high school years, working out every detail perfectly as we waited on Him and followed His leading.

I was not too excited about being homeschooled in 9th grade. I wanted to be the same as everyone else-what I thought was a "normal teenager." It wasn't until 11th grade that I really began to see all the wonderful things I had overlooked in homeschooling.

First, homeschooling allowed me the privilege of having a significant amount of time to study God and the Bible. I am so grateful today for all that time in God's Word that truly provided me a solid foundation for my Christian walk.

Second, my mom and I had the unique opportunity to run errands, cook, clean, and just be home together on a daily basis. I not only grew closer to her, but more familiar with homemaking skills that I know will serve me later in life. It's hard to appreciate the opportunity we have to cultivate a friendship with our mothers when we're 16, but as I look back on those years, I don't think my mom and I would be as close as we are today if I had been gone all day. It wasn't as if we had extensive, three-hour conversations every day! It was sharing the mundane, simple hours of the week that sanctified us and grew our relationship the most.

Lastly, homeschooling enabled me to pursue unique giftings and extracurricular activities. Having studied piano since 1st grade, I was able to continue taking weekly lessons and practice more than I ever could if I was in school from 8:00 to 3:00, Monday through Friday . . . I now have eight piano students of my own.

My parents homeschooled me from 3rd through 10th grade, after which I attended community college for 11th and 12th grades. Looking back, two aspects of home instruction particularly contributed to my success in life and at college.

First, homeschooling shielded me from the peer pressure that is especially potent in junior high and high school. Large public schools can be factories that force teenagers to conform their personalities to various molds. Homeschool alumni whom I've encountered tend to have more unique interests than graduates of public schools. Though generalizations are not true in every case, I know my own interests diverge from those of the mass culture, and I'm told that my personality is uncommon (in a good way!). As a result, I have a lot to contribute to, as well as learn from, my friendships and interactions with others. I'm also strongly convicted in my faith in Christ, as mass culture's rejection of Him doesn't trouble me.

Second, by requiring independent, analytical modes of thought, home instruction laid the foundation for my success at college in a manner that public schools cannot duplicate. Under my mother's system of homeschooling, my assignments usually were to read textbook passages on my own and then to complete problem sets or answer my mom's oral questions, which tested reading comprehension. Rather than relying on a lecturer to introduce and clarify the material in the textbooks, I had to understand ideas, events, and data on my own, turning to my mom if all else failed. That forced me to think for myself and to exert myself, since I wasn't being spoon-fed the material. As a result, I was well prepared for college, which follows the homeschool model of independent learning more closely than the public school model. Indeed, from my observations at college, what separates the top students from the rest of the pack is usually not intelligence but more often a diligent work ethic and good thinking habits. Homeschooling inculcated those skills in me.

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